Size Matters; Grant Henry’s Tuesday Tips

Grant Henry

Grant Henry is my best friend and the owner of CHURCH bar in Atlanta. Every Tuesday morning we have coffee at his place. (We used to have coffee at Java Vino, but Grant is too famous now.) Mike is usually there and sometimes Lary is, too. The following is from this morning’s conversation. It may make sense, but probably not:

Grant: My new coffee cups hold half as much as the old ones.

Mike: They’re diet coffee cups.

Grant: No, my old ones were so huge I could only get three cups per pot of coffee.

Lary: I don’t like them.

Grant: Lary doesn’t like change

Lary: True, it jingles in my pocket and rubs against my iPhone.

Mike: My friend used to heat up quarters and throw them at bums.

Lary: Then maybe I do like change. But I like the old coffee cups better.

Grant: Lary, I gave them to you! Just bring one back . . . Hey, I’m thinking of having a raffle. You buy a ticket and the prize is me picking you up in my Hot Buttered Rolls and taking you to a birthday party . . . Oh, Ria said the spinning nun at CHURCH was degrading to women, so we gave her a big penis and bigger balls. I’m surprised no one has told me to take it down yet, or the neon XXX off the door.

Lary: Did you still want to put laser eyes on the velvet MLK?

Mike: Yes!

Lary: What’s the neon XXX on the front door stand for?

Grant: Hugs hugs hugs.


Typos, if any, are intensional.






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