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Category Archives: My Job Search

My Job Search: Bank Fraud Investogator

I saw a job on Indeed.com for a Bank Fraud Investigator for Plains Capitol Bank in Dallas, TX. Here is my cover letter:

Hello. Holy crap, I’d be the BEST bank fraud investigator EVER. I have gotten really good at spotting fraudulent banks. Until now it’s been because I deposited all my money with them, but that there just proves dedication. Take, for example, when Bank of America conveniently forgot I’d linked my checking account to my savings account for overdraft protection, then charged me $600 in overdraft fees. It took me only Read more →

My Job Search: World Travel Coordinator

 New book coming soon on Kindle!

 

I saw a job opening for World Travel Coordinator for Ponte Travels in Seattle, WA, on Indeed.com. Here is my cover letter:

Hello. Just so you know, I’d rock holy hell out of this job, because who wouldn’t want to be a WORLD TRAVEL COORDINATOR? First, I’m an AMAZING coordinator AND I’m a serious world traveler. I’ve been everywhere except India, where I would have gone two years ago, but my daughter refused because she didn’t want to miss a slumber party (I swear this is true) (and it goes to show how much I’ve spoiled her travel-wise).

Soon she’ll be attending Berkeley, where until recently I planned to get a job as a cafeteria lady so I could embarrass her every day (“Hi, Honey, I think I can feel all my moles changing color”), but then she one-upped me by promising me Read more →

My Job Search: Whale Watch Supervisor

I saw a job opening for a “Whale Watch Supervisor” in Hawaii on Indeed.com, so I applied for it. Here’s my cover letter:

“Hello.

First, wow, this is the first I’ve ever even HEARD of a “whale watcher supervisor,” but I thoroughly believe it is definitely, without a doubt, absolutely probably the best job in the history of the universe. Does the whale-watcher supervisor get to have whale-watcher subordinates? Like lower-level whale watchers I’d get to boss around and tell things like, Read more →